Granola

Hello, my name is worst food blogger ever, it's nice of you to join me considering I'm never around and I only cook things, take pictures, than stop there and never post... I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me. I'm making something tonight that should be awesome, and it involves my brain and another recipe I found so it should be good, since my brain really is smart.

Today, however, since it's been far too long since I've posted you're going to get a second hand post from my regular blog that I posted before I ever decided I was a good enough to cook to have a whole separate blog for it.

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I can't tell you how awesome it feels to be posting my own (adapted) recipe. And it's for something as versatile as granola, which has uses in the health food world, as well in the dessert world.

This version is deliciously nutty, and I pretty much don't like any nut other than those of the peanut variety.

So go forth people, and whip up some granola, its fibery goodness that your colon will thank you for.

Ingredients:3 and 1/4 cup of quick oats
1/2 cup of chopped (crushed, I used the bottom of a glass) unsalted peanuts
1/3 cup of honey
1/3 cup of brown sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2 tbsp warm water
1 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg

Directions:1. preheat oven to 250 F, lightly grease baking sheet
2. in a large bowl combine and stir together all dry ingredients
3. in a separate bowl combine everything else and stir together really well; then pour over the oat mixture and mix till evenly coated
4. spread out evenly on the baking sheet and cook for one hour stirring every 15 minutes for even cooking

This is delicious as cereal, but really filling. I'd go as far as saying better than Honey Bunches of Oats, which we all know is the best healthy cereal ever (best unhealthy cereal being rice crispy treats cereal). Plus making your own granola is fun, and it makes your house smell all wonderful and comfortable. Plus, since mother nature thinks it's funny to make it cold again, this will warm your heart and your kitchen.

Hummus

Lets get real: hummus is not only entirely delicious, it's become a huge staple in the diets of people our age because of it's versatility. And it's delicious. Humus is easy enough to make, which is why once I made it I thought I'd share the basics with you so you can make it yourself and never have a dry bit of pita again.

1 can (14.5 Oz.) Garbanzo Beans, Rinsed And Drained

2 Tablespoons Tahini

1 cloves Garlic, Chopped, Or More To Taste

½ teaspoon Lemon Juice

Sprinkle Ground Cumin, Or More To Taste

Salt To Taste

herb of choice, or none

1-3 Tablespoons Cold Water

1 teaspoon Olive Oil

Things you could add to make it awesome: cheese, bacon, jalapeno (probably a half per can I think might be enough) glitter, bubbles, or smiley faces.

Okay, kidding. I think the next time I go to the store I'm going to check out the varieties and test em' out for you.

Easiest way to make these is in the blender I have in my kitchen. If you have your own I suggest using that one, but you can also use a food processor or a potato masher if you have lots of time and your elbows are naturally greasy.

I made like tree batches of these and I found they blended better if you smashed the up a little first with a fork. So do that. During this part you may find the skins of the chickpeas are coming off and feel free to throw them away. They also contribute to the difficulty in blending.

And chop some garlic. Waring: if you eat garlic no vampire will ever love you again. I warned you.

Once you are done mashing add the chick peas to the blender, squeeze a bit of lemon juice in, add the garlic, salt, cumin, tahini (the more you add the nuttier the flavor. Tahini is yummy, but don't lick the spoon) and any herb you think would be lovely. Suggestions are Parsley or Basil, but I would go out on a limb saying that Rosemary would be fresh too. If you're feeling sweet maybe some coco powder, cinnamon and sugar. If that last one doesn't taste good don't hate me, I haven't tried it, it's just in my head. Dry herbs work fine, just make sure to smash them u pa bit to release the flavor properly.

Blendy blend blend. The hardest part of this is getting everything nice and smooth. My last batch was pretty chunky because I got lazy. It tasted fine, but it felt weird going in (heyo!) Based on the consistency add a little water to smooth things out. You know what hummus looks like, use your best judgement.

When you feel like everything is smooth to your liking separate it into dishes, put it in the refrigerator for later or eat it with a spoon... To serve sprinkle a bit of olive oil over the top and you can garnish it with things like chopped scallions, paprika for color, or olives. It'll stay good in the fridge for about a week or so.

Happy Hummusing people. Happy hummusing.

Apple Pie

Apple Pie. Love. A good book. Lazy Sundays. What do all of these things have in common? They are the best things ever, that's what. And I am going to show you how to make one of them.

Start with the dry ingredients put them all in a bowl.

¾ cups All-purpose Flour

1 cup White Sugar

1 cup Brown Sugar

2 teaspoons Cinnamon

Stir them up. This recipe is actually easier than another (note, the only other) pie I've made because it doesn't require an egg. Adding an egg to anything will make it more doughy (?). It'll give it the consistency of custard. Because apples are really juicy you don't actually need an egg or any other liquid whatsoever.

Next cut up your apples. The recipe I used called for 6 cups, I figured 7 small apples would do it, and I was totally right. This large measuring bowl is perfect for measuring large amounts of things you can't use a small cup for. My sister uses it when she mashes bananas for banana bread. It has a spout and a handle and it's plastic and huge. So, 6 cups of apples.

Most of the time people will tell you to use granny smith apples for pie, I am not most people. I used Macintosh because I wanted it to be delicious and they were on sale. I'm not a fan of granny smith, she shanked my granny Potter in the jail yard... kidding. But I don't like GSmith apples.

Once cut mix the apples with the sugar mixture and get them completely covered. Sugar does weird stuff to fruit. That jelly like substance that falls out of pie and makes your heart warm is the result of the chemical reaction between fruit and sugar.

TIP:Sugar also tenderizes meat, so if you use a tablespoon or so in a marinade it'll not only be flavorful, but totally tender.
Do this part with a wooden spoon, wooden spoons are fun and you don't have to get your hands dirty. I'm all for getting your hands dirty, but sticky is another thing. I don't like sticky.

Time to use your frozen pie crust. If you left it in the freezer for more than an hour then it'll probably need to thaw a bit before you can roll it out. If you flower your cutting board and rolling pin (note: I've used a large cup when I forgot my pin) it'll be easy. I only floured my pin. I'm an idiot. Don't be like me.

Roll it out slightly larger than your pie pan and put it in.

If you sprinkle a bit of flower on the bottom of your crust before you put the filling in it'll prevent the bottom crust from getting all sorts of soggy. No one likes soggy crust. Here is where I actually messed up. After you put the filling in the pie (I had about a cereal bowl full of left over, my pie pan is small, save at least a little of the sugary stuff for later, eat the rest) you need to put little squares of butter on it. 2 tablespoons is what the recipe called for, and I didn't measure till I was done but that's exactly what I used.

I accidentally put the top crust on first and had to peel it away. Sorry. I'm not perfect.

After the butter put the top crust on and squeeze the edges of the two crusts together with your fingers.

Use A sharp knife to cut slits in the top crust for steam to escape. This will make the inside so delicious you'll have to fight yourself to not eat it the second it comes out of the oven. It doesn't have to be intricate, I was feeling cute. I was thinking of doing a swirling design, but I decided not to be a tool and did it regular like.

Some recipes say you shouled coat the crust with milk or an egg wash at this point but I didn't and I wouldn't either. However, the part that you do need to do is sprinkle the left over sugar cinnamon mix over the top. Not too much, but just enough to sort of melt and glaze.

If you're a good chef you've already preheated the oven to 375°, if you're me you haven't. But this will give you plenty of time to make a foil crust protector. I also forgot this step but it's easy. Cut a piece of foil that is as long as the circumference of your pie pan plus two inches (2πr+2)... haha, kidding. You don't have to do it exact. However, make sure it goes all the way around and fold it till it's about an inch and a half wide. Wrap it all the way around the pie and hook it to protect the crust from burning while it cooks. It's supposed to cook for 45-55 minutes, but I told you mine was a small pan and I have an oven with a mind of it's own so it only took me 35 minutes. If you remember to put the foil proctor on pull it off when there is about 20 minutes left (more than half way through if you end up cooking for less time like I did) and let it cook the rest of the way uncovered.

You'll know it's done when your tongue is literally dragging on the floor behind you to check on it because of the intensely seductive aroma.