Not so "Fancy" Mac and Cheese

This is an adaptation of The Pioneer Woman's Fancy Macaroni. I have become a huge fan of all pot luck type events, summer parties, my New Years party, bon fires, making my friends come over and eat the stuff I cook for them.

I just realized how easy my friends have it...

And, this is perfect for any occasion that involves hungry people and trying to impress someone with words like "fancy" and "cheese". I'm always impressed when someone says fancy.

The "fancy" comes in when you add bacon and sauteed onions to a regular cheese sauce, at least, I think so.

You will need:

• 2-3 cups Macaroni
• 8 Tablespoons (salted) Butter
• 1 (or 2) whole Medium Onion(s), Cut In Half And Sliced Thin (half moons)
• 10 slices Regular Bacon
• 1 Tablespoon Bacon Grease (reserved From Bacon Slices)
• ¼ cups All-purpose Flour
• 2 cups Whole Or 2% Milk
• 2 whole Egg Yolks, Beaten
• Salt And Pepper, to taste
• 1 cup (or more) Grated Sharp Cheddar Cheese
• 1 cup (or more) Grated Jack Cheese 
• ½ cups sour cream (light does NOT work for this)

Start by cooking the bacon. Make sure it's crispy enough to break easily but not burnt. If you make the whole package just remember to not eat at least 10 pieces. I never actually remember to count, but I love bacon, so I use a lot.

  

Next slice onions. You can either do half moon slices (which I personally prefer) or dice them smaller which the friend I was making this for prefers. I sautéed them in the bacon grease because I had never tried it before, it was pretty good, but they were dirty looking. I prefer nice white or clear onions. Do what you will, if you use butter sauté them in 3-4 tablespoons.

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Sauté them till the onions are soft and clear-ish.

Set aside bacon and onions for later.



Now, for the cheese sauce,

Grate your cheeses.

When you grate your own cheese you make God smile. When God smiles the world is good. Make the world good, grate your own cheese.

Start by melting 4 tablespoons of butter in a pot over medium heat. Once it's melted whisk in ¼ cup of flour and the bacon grease you saved. You did save it, right??

So the flour doesn't burn whisk it for about a minute.

Turn the heat up to high (so you can melt the cheese) and add the 2% milk to the pot.

Grate pepper into the milk; whisk till everything is all mixed and warm and happy.

Here is where you'd add the eggs if you are into that sort of thing... I may or may not forget to do it every time I make this, but I can vouch by saying they aren't necessary. If you do decided to add them you must temper them. by this point the milk mixture is pretty warm and if you just plop the egg (yellows*) they'd scramble and you'd have weird stuff. Eggs are to make the cheese sauce more solid/stick to whatever you're coating them in. I personally have never noticed the difference.

How to temper an egg: Whisk the egg (yellows only in this case)

add a little of the hot liquid to them

whisk till combined and warm

throw whole bit into the hot liquid

By doing this you introduce the heat to the delicate eggs slowly, preventing them from doing that scramble business.

Next, add the cheese and sour cream, stir completely after each add.

Add the bacon and onions. Stir in completely. Save at least a handful of the bacon and onions because it'll be a garnish for the end.

It'll smell like Jesus himself made it and you'll want to just eat it with a spoon, but don't.

You probably should have magically made your pasta sometime in there when I wasn't paying attention, didn't photograph it, and didn't write about it.

Boil your noodles, make sure they are al dente, and drain them.

Oh, and your oven should be at about 350°. Do that too.

Stir the noodles into the sauce. I think there are too many noodles for how much sauce we made; if you don't use them all, don't worry.

Add it to a baking dish (or two) and then sprinkle the rest of the bacon and onions over the tops.

Bake for 15-20 minutes or till they are bubbly and brown and the onions on top are crispy. Heaven smiles on a crispy onion. I smile on it too.

Serve warm.

This will make people wish you were their roommate when they eat this.

* If egg whites are called whites... why aren't the yokes called "yellows"? I also think red onions have a stupid fucking name. They are purple; I call them the color they truly are.

Chicken Parmesan

Chicken Parmesan is one of my favorite things to eat. And it's really easy to make too. This was by far the best I've ever had, and I think it was the sauce (Ragu... who'd-a thunk?).

So, to make the dish you'll need:

2 eggs, whisked

5 medium sized boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about a pound and a half)

3/4 cup of bread crumbs (Italian seasoned is good)

1/3 cup (or as much as you need to cover the bottom of a skillet) canola oil

1 1/2 cup pasta (I used bow tie which also was an excellent choice, but you can use whatever as long as it's not whole wheat, I do not condone cooking with whole wheat pasta. Ever. Thank you)

2 cups of spaghetti sauce. I used a Ragu kind that I know had garlic and onions in it, which I think made the dish, you should use whatever kind you love.

Provolone or Parmesan Cheese (technically you can use (6) slices, or ( about a cup) grated cheese)

Preheat your oven to 350°F

Start by making sure all the chicken is about the same thickness through, if you put it in a large plastic bag you can pound the heck out of it without fear of coating your kitchen in a  thin layer of germs and grossness. I haven't got one of those meat pounder things... so I used a rolling pin and beat them into submission. Do whatever you think is best ;)

After they are about uniform thickness dunk them in the eggs, then in the bread crumbs and set aside till they are all done.

Next heat your oil over medium to medium high and cook them on both sides.

Most recipes say you're just browning, but the idea of uncooked chicken scares me, so I think the best thing to do is cook them for about 3 or 4 minutes on each side till nice and brown, and cooked most (or all) of the way through.
Cook your pasta like regular (al dente please, its better) and warm your sauce in a sauce pan.

In a casserole dish put the pasta, then the sauce, then the chicken, then the cheese.  I didn't stir the pasta in the sauce because I thought it would be more delicious if I just let it all figure it out on it's own, and like I said this was the best chicken parm I've ever had.

bake for 15 minutes or till cheese is melted and brownish but not burnt. Serve directly out of the oven, but make sure to blow on it or you'll burn your tongue. Makes 5 servings.

Enjoy

individual chicken pot pies

Chicken pot pie, my one true love... 

The 'gredients you will need are:

2 whole Chicken Breasts (frozen or not)

1 Onion, chopped

1 Potato, cubed

2 Carrots, sliced

1/2 cup of pees

1 clove of garlic, minced

2 1/2 cups of chicken broth

1/2 cup of flower 

1 pie crust

This makes 5 individual pies. I used 10 oz custard cups, any small oven safe safe dish will work.

The first step is cooking the chicken, and although we'll be putting it in the filling and into the oven after, cooking it all the way through is important. Frozen this takes about 15 minutes, fresh about 8. I boil it in the broth (water and some bullion cubes works spectacularly as well) and once it's cooked I pull it out and let it cool for a bit so I don't burn my hands when I chop it up.

 The next step is making the filling. Use a little of the broth (or some olive oil, or a table spoon of butter) to start cooking the chopped onions and garlic. Add the carrots and potatoes after about 5 minutes and then the rest of the broth. I just used the broth I cooked the chicken in because is as already warm and it was already chicken(y). Add the peas and cook for about 10 more minutes the potatoes and carrots, those are the tellers is it's done. You'll want them to be soft and almost done.

Dice the chicken into bite sized pieces. The best part of chicken pot pie is the fact that you only need a fork. Make sure that all your chops for everything is small.  

Next add the flour. You're technically making chicken gravy. I did it by handful because Its my flour and I know where my hands have been. I suggest starting with less and adding till you get the thickness you want. Throw the flour in, stir it all around, add some pepper and salt. if you use fresh ingredients the broth alone isn't enough to salt it all. I made that mistake. I also made the mistake of cooking this on a 90 degree day... ugh.

Get your gravy to where you want it and let it simmer on low heat while you get the pie crusts ready. Oh, and you could preheat the oven to 375 or something like that if you'd like. :)

  Cover a baking sheet with foil, makes clean up as easy as throwing it away... and ladle equal amounts into the dishes. You can add a little more pepper at this point if you'd like, and cover with small pie crusts. Cut breathing holes into the tops and bake for 15 minutes or till crust is golden.

I didn't, but I think that if you were to brush the crusts with melted butter I bet it would be delicious. 

Variations on this are endless, since no one but me likes peas you can always omit them, I've got a picky friend who doesn't like carrots either so I've made his with broccoli and green beans and cauliflower. If you don't feel like cutting anything a bag of microwave veggies works fine too. Microwave them and then go from there. If you don't want pie crust using biscuits are also delicious, although I suppose it becomes more of a dumpling thing but who really cares? Not I said the chicken, not I said the duck.

Enjoy.